happy yet disappointed in life

is it possible that you can be happy for your friends to have a bf or gf, but yet be upset because you realize that you lose value to them as a friend. now that they have some one special they no longer really wanna spend time with anyone else. i think its great that they are that much closer to getting married, but do you really have to forget about your friends. i suppose that if you have friends like that, who will no longer keep tabs with you because they find someone else you should get new ones, but its so hard to keep people around these days. i am a difficult person and i can only be taken in like baby bits. its sad to think but true, i guess i realize who i am and am really not willing to change it. i realized on my lovely walk home that i smelled a wif of kansas so sweet that it brought tears to my eyes. im grateful to not want to spend my weekends getting drunk and being loud that the cops have to come and ask us to leave, although it would be fun to be wild i think its better that i just do my simple thing now. i long for that moment when i have someone who wants to ask my to a dance even if it is just a friend. i long for the day when some one asks me to something because they enjoy my company. i realized that i have only been on about 3 dates. two of which really meant nothing the third one was fun but weird and a little intense. i wish to be back in kansas just taking my walks with my boys and go back to the way things  were. but it will never be the same. i wish for what i had, how heart broken i am knowing that i will never talk to some of these people again.